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Dr. Joanne Paul- MBBS (UWI), FRCPCH (UK), FRCP (Edin)

 

 

In last week’s column we discussed why persons would make a sex tape knowing the inherent risks of leakage. The first two groups in this include the consenting couple who pre plan the taping as an aspect of their intimate sex life. Then there is the other group where it is nonconsenting, and the camera is hidden. There is the third group who make the sex tape and deliberately leak it. Those are persons who may be looking for validation by being seen after feeling invisible. They may be looking for likes and fame. With every like on whatever social media platform, there is a resultant endorphin release and persons can become addicted to getting likes and they may try to do more and go further just to get that shock value and get attention.

The main group though that I was curious about were the ones where either it was not pre planned and done spontaneously or one person semi planned it and would ask for consent in the middle of the activity or just before. This would usually involve the outside man/woman or the ‘fren’ and not the serious chick/guy. Or the person with whom you are having a fling or a thing. Or friends with benefits. It would not usually be your committed boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife since often, if it were a long-term person, they would have fallen into the previously discussed group where it was pre planned and pre consented. From my mini research, reasons for giving consent in the moment, include trying to please the person especially if you are in love or if there is a power imbalance. Also, looking for a promotion and the gaining of brownie points. Being insecure and not confident to say no. Peer pressure from your social group who think it may be cool and happening to do. What many people described though was a sex sweet spot. It seems there may be a time during the whole process where you feel really connected and into the person and your judgement is maximumly clouded. At that point in time, if asked, ‘aye can I tape this?’ or ‘let’s try something nah’ or ‘this is too hot to not remember’ or ‘you look so good, I have to tape this,’ it seems the answer would mostly be yes since you are already in the zone, defences are down, and type 2 thinking processes are reduced.

One of the interesting things to come out of my research and discussions was that Generation X and Y no longer think sex tapes are a big deal since they are so common. Significantly with the sex tape leakage, they felt neither gender would be judged differently, and the main judgement was towards the source of the leak. In fact, if it was leaked by the guy, other guys would blame him mainly for making it worse for the rest of the guys to get consent next time they themselves ask. Essentially though there would be some furore with a leaked sex tape, some humour and voyeurism, some looking at sizes and expertise but only mild judgement from these generations. The judgement it seems comes more from the Generation X and baby boomers and the disappointment and scandalisation is mainly directed to the female in these leaked tapes, no matter who the source of the leak. Our traditional gender biases come into play and often there are positive comments for the guy as he may look good and come off as ‘GT.’ The woman or girl though is often judged for getting caught in the situation and consenting to this tape with a non-committed partner.

 

The key differences here with the generation responses is that generation X and baby boomers are often in more senior positions at organisations. Once the sex tape has been leaked, the female in the tape may not lose as much with friends but there may be some significant loss from the bosses or those in more senior positions. Often, they will be the ones reassigned to another position or site to reduce the work tension and embarrassment and it remains a subjective issue for further promotions and interviews.

The point here is that culturally as women, we know we are judged more harshly with regards to morality as it relates to sex and social media and sex tapes. The point here is that, until we change the judgement gender biases towards sex and morality, we have to live with the reality and compensate for the imbalances. With leaked sex tapes no matter how woke we think we are, no matter what our generation, as women, we have more to lose.

Will I ever do a sex tape? Probably not. I am not trying to judge or advise anyone on what they do in their private sex lives. I am just saying engage your type 2 thinking. With a new person observe for a staged environment with an unusually positioned phone. Think about the possibility of revenge porn even as a long-term couple. When in that sweet spot, if asked to do one, have a short think about the possible repercussions. As a woman, it is your body, your choice, but also your responsibility, albeit gender disproportional

Dr Joanne F Paul is a Lecturer, a Paediatric Emergency Specialist, and a member of TEL institute

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